Blind Date
by nancy fan
Summary: When her relationship with Ned finally comes to an end, Nancy goes on a blind date with unexpected results. Part 4 of 4
1. Chapter 1

She had not seen him in months and Nancy yearned for the tenderness of his touch, the comforting sound of his voice and the warmth of his arms wrapped tightly around her, but at this point, would settle gratefully for mere acknowledgement of her existence. As it was, she had not spoken to Ned since that chilly December day, when in quiet resignation he told her that it was over, that he couldn't trust her anymore, that it was better this way. After weeks of tension and bitter arguments, Nancy was hardly surprised when their labored relationship finally came to an end, but it still hurt deeply and even now, Nancy could hardly bring herself to think of that day without becoming teary-eyed, knowing it was her selfish acts that had ultimately torn them apart.

Guilt stricken, Nancy had given Ned the clean break he so desperately desired, though at times the urge to call him, to talk to him, had been painfully strong. Sometime later, the devastating news filtered through, via a reluctant Jan, that Ned had a new girlfriend, a fellow student named Rachael. A blonde, obviously beautiful girlfriend, Nancy had reflected miserably at the time, bitterly imagining her replacement.

Rachael was a girl who apparently didn't break Ned's heart or head off on a case at a moment's notice, sabotaging much longed for plans and vacations, leaving her boyfriend disappointed yet again. Ever sage in affairs of the heart, Bess had advised Nancy to gather every last remnant of their broken relationship and dump them, better still burn them, but Nancy couldn't. The handful of text messages she had saved on her phone and the much treasured collection of cards, gifts and letters gathered in a box under the bed were her last links to Ned, the only concrete proof that what they shared ever even existed.

xxxxxx

"Bess, I am so not doing this," Nancy informed her friend resolutely as she absently twisted a stray piece of tagliatelle around her fork. "I still can't believe you set me up with some random guy you work with. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Number one, Nan, he's not just some random guy. I've known Jack for months," Bess replied pointedly, waving aside her friend's concerns as she took a long sip from her frosty drink. "And, number two, he's freaking hot," she declared sternly, her eyes widening for emphasis. "I'm doing you a favour. If I wasn't dating Brian, I would so be all over that myself."

"Yeah, how is the mysterious Brian," Nancy cut in curiously. "You've been dating him for weeks and we still haven't met him yet," Nancy observed slyly, exchanging a smile with George.

"Yeah, Bess," George chimed in teasingly. "Is the boy having a bad hair week, or what? Usually on a night like this, you'd be parading the poor guy around like a piece of meat, making sure that no other girl got her claws into him. What's the deal?"

"Funny, you guys," Bess replied, shooting daggers at the girls, who had dissolved into fits of giggles. "Don't worry, Nancy, you will meet him, on your date," she informed her friend with a smile, putting unnecessary emphasis on the word. "Now quit changing the subject, you're meeting this guy and that's that," she finished, her voice taking on a no nonsense tone that was not to be trifled with.

"Oh, Bess," Nancy pleaded, gazing imploringly at her friend. "Please don't make me do this, I'll be mortified. Anyway, I've already made plans for the weekend, so I'm not sure I'll be able to go anyway," Nancy added none too convincingly, nervously pushing the remains of her pasta around the plate.

"What plans?" Bess demanded dubiously, peering at Nancy over the rim of her glass. "If they include television and a bottle of wine, then you're going on this date with Jack," she instructed Nancy firmly. "Besides," she added with a mischievous grin. "I told him you were definitely going, so you don't really have a choice. The restaurant is booked and everything."

"Okay, Bess, you got me on the whole wine and television thing, but in fairness, I haven't had a proper night's sleep in weeks," Nancy persisted, defensively. "The case has me totally wiped and I really, really deserve a night to chill out," she protested, referring to a recent case involving priceless works of art stolen from a prominent museum. "Come on, George, tell her," she proclaimed desperately, turning to her dark-haired friend for support.

"For once, I have to agree with Bess," George replied, slyly. "Nan, staying in on a Saturday night is pathetic. Get a hold of yourself."

"Okay, okay, I'll go on the stupid date," Nancy relented with a sigh as she rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Anything for a quiet life," she muttered under her breath, turning her attention half-heartedly to the cold remains of her pasta dish.

xxxxxx

The entire contents of her wardrobe heaped in a colorful explosion on the bed and her reddish-blonde hair still clinging in wet tendrils to her face, Nancy paced the room anxiously, cursing the butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the thought of the night ahead. In spite of Bess's fervent assurances that Jack was cute, funny and sweet, it still felt forced and utterly unnatural to go on a date with a guy she had never even met before.

"Hey, Nan, what's going on?" Bess demanded impatiently, as she poked her head of honey-blonde curls around the door. "We're going in ten, no, make that five minutes," she informed her friend urgently, a panicked expression crossing her face as she glanced at her watch. "Nancy Drew, I'm going to kill you if you make me late for my date with Brian. Why the hell aren't you ready?"

"I have no clue what to wear," Nancy admitted in defeat, gesturing at the pile of discarded clothes spilling onto the floor. "And I really, really need the help of my best friend."

"Okay," Bess sighed in annoyance, though she cast a sympathetic look at her friend. "You have five minutes and then we have to go, even if your make-up's a mess and your hair is standing on end," she added warningly.

"Deal," Nancy laughed.

Her forehead creased in concentration, Bess expertly sorted through the chaos, making random suggestions while Nancy turned her attention to her hair, running a comb through the horribly tangled damp locks.

Fishing out a pale blue dress from the depths of the pile, Bess handed it to Nancy, a triumphant expression on her face. "What about this?" she suggested with a smile. "You love this dress and the blue really brings out your eyes."

"You think?" Nancy replied doubtfully as her gaze swept over the length of the dress. "It's awfully short, Bess. I don't want him to think I'm a slut... Not that I care what he thinks," she added hurriedly, purposely ignoring the smirk that spread across her friend's face.

"Oh, God, I love this," Bess cooed enthusiastically, pulling out a

black silk halter-neck dress and displaying it dramatically for Nancy's benefit. "It looks great on you and you haven't worn it in ages, so it will feel like new."

"No, I don't think so, Bess," Nancy said, dismissing the dress offhand and accepting the next suggestion gratefully, aware that her friend's patience was rapidly dwindling.

In truth, there was nothing wrong with the black dress. The silky fabric was both soft and luxurious and clung flatteringly to her curves. The trouble was that it had been a favorite of Ned's, a dress that had attracted much attention from him whenever she'd worn it, and as silly as it seemed, it felt almost like a betrayal to wear it for some other guy.

"Okay, you look amazing, Nan," Bess smiled approvingly, delicately dabbing some sticky gloss onto her lips. "Jack won't know what hit him when he sees you coming."

"Oh, stop, Bess, you're making me blush," Nancy joked, gathering her keys and wallet and piling them into her bag.

"Nancy, come on, we'd better go," Bess said anxiously, grabbing hold of her friend and pulling her towards the door. "We're supposed to meet the guys at eight and it's already almost five past. You know, you're one of my best friends in the whole world," she sighed, clutching Nancy's hand dramatically. "But if you make me miss out on this date with the love of my life, I will never, ever forgive you."

"Okay, I'm ready," Nancy declared, taking a deep breath to quell her growing nerves before hurrying out the door.

xxxxxxx

The bar, a fashionably decorated affair heaving with model-beautiful girls, was typical of the places Bess normally frequented and George openly despised. Perched at the bar, Nancy warily eyed her drink before turning her attention to her date.

"Something wrong with your drink?" he asked, staring at her, a smile flirting with his lips.

"Well, it's green for starters," Nancy began, poking at the offending drink with her straw. "And there's some stuff floating in it that I don't even recognize."

"You know, I've read about you," he commented, shaking his head in amusement, "and you've dealt with some really violent, dangerous characters."

"Yeah, so?" Nancy returned with an indifferent shrug.

"It's just funny, that's all, that the famous detective is scared of some chopped fruit and a paper umbrella." Jack remarked, teasingly.

"I didn't say I was scared," Nancy replied defensively, punching Jack playfully on the arm. "I'm just saying that it's annoying and slightly weird. Give me a long island iced tea any day of the week."

Jack was a wonderful date and as much as she hated to admit it, Nancy was having a great night. He was funny, cute and smart, her father would almost certainly approve of his Ivy League education, and he radiated such self-confidence that any woman would find him attractive. On paper, he seemed the perfect guy, but in her heart, Nancy knew there was something missing. In all his perfection, he was not Ned.

As the opening beats of a song spilled onto the crowded dance floor, Nancy heard Bess shriek excitedly. "Oh, my, God, I love this song. Come on, Nancy, you're going dancing with me," she demanded, smiling apologetically at Jack before grabbing Nancy's hand and pulling her forcefully towards the dance floor.

"Well, come on, what do you think of him?" Bess asked Nancy eagerly as they edged their way through the swaying mass of bodies.

"He's cute," Nancy offered vaguely, sneakily glancing in Jack's direction.

"And?" Bess motioned impatiently for her friend to elaborate.

"And he's smart and he's funny; he's lovely, Bess. What do you want me to say? That I love him and we're getting married?" She chuckled wryly, amused by the girl's keen, borderline obsessive, interest in her love life.

"Yes," Bess answered dreamily. "It would be so much fun. Me and George could be your bridesmaids, although I would have to have some input on the style of the dresses," she added as an afterthought.

"Bess," Nancy snorted, rolling her eyes in frustration. "You do realize I was joking, right? Jack is a lovely person and he's gorgeous, but we are most definitely not getting married."

"Hmm, has he kissed you yet?" Bess cut in, completely undeterred by Nancy's blunt sarcasm. "Because I looked over a while ago and it totally seemed like he was going to."

"Bess, you're unreal," Nancy replied, shaking her head and laughing. "Can we please let the whole Jack obsession thing go, because at the moment you are totally freaking me out."

Laughing, the girls hit the dance floor, Bess desperate to catch the end of the song, when a strange look suddenly passed over her face. Puzzled, Nancy turned around, her breath catching in her throat as she took in the lone figure standing behind her. It was Ned.


	2. Chapter 2

Rooted to the spot, her stance stiff and awkward, Nancy could only stare in shock as Ned approached her hesitantly and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"It's really good to see you, Nan," Ned murmured in a heartbreakingly sincere tone, taking the opportunity to put his hand lightly on her arm. "You look great."

Being so close to Ned after so long, Nancy felt horribly confused. Though she'd known it was inevitable that she'd bump into her ex-boyfriend at some point, and had rehearsed it over and over in her head, Nancy hadn't counted on the hurt and betrayal that swamped her when she finally brought herself to meet Ned's warm brown eyes.

"Yeah, Ned, it's good to see you too," Nancy replied coldly, abruptly withdrawing her arm as though his very touch was burning her skin. "But I need to get back to the gang. See you around, okay?"

"Don't be like that," Ned pleaded, and her steely resolve rapidly crumbled at the woebegone expression that crossed his face. "Look, I know this is weird, but I really think we need to talk. We can't ignore each other forever. Do you want to get a drink or something?"

"I don't know," Nancy replied doubtfully, discreetly glancing over his shoulder for sign of Rachael, the supposedly perfect girlfriend. "I mean, things are different now. You've got a girlfriend, for one," she reminded him bitterly, immediately hating herself for the jealousy so evident in her voice.

"Well it sure as hell doesn't look like you're too lonely," Ned retorted, his jaw clenched tightly as he gestured angrily at Jack, who by now was staring in utter bewilderment at the couple. "Who's that asshole anyway? Every time I looked over, he had his hands all over you."

"That asshole, as you so nicely put it, is being a perfect gentleman, actually," Nancy shot back indignantly, her eyes flashing. For a moment the two of them just stared at each other, and the anger between them was too familiar. Nancy suddenly felt very tired and sad.

"Look, this is a bad idea," she finally sighed. "We've only been talking for five minutes and we're already fighting again. I've got to head back to my date, okay? Enjoy the rest of the night. I'm sure I'll see you around."

"Nancy, I'm sorry, I'm being a total jerk," Ned berated himself, catching a firm hold of her hand and pulling her closer to him. "Please don't go. I don't want to ruin your date or anything but I really think we need to talk." Though Ned's demeanor had calmed considerably, Nancy was sure she could still detect an undercurrent of desperation in his voice.

Her heart racing, Nancy barely breathed as she made her hurried apologies to Jack, George and Bess. Not giving herself even a second to change her mind or to wonder whether she was simply making another huge mistake, Nancy let her emotions blindly lead her out of the nightclub with Ned, her hand warmly enclosed in his.

xxxxx

In stark contrast to the glamorous club, the bar, with its scuffed wooden floors and secondhand mismatched furniture, had a distinctly edgy feel and provided a much more intimate backdrop for the inevitably awkward opening moments of their conversation.

"So, how have things been with you?" Ned began a little nervously, taking a long pull from his bottle of beer before forcing himself to meet her gaze.

"The same, I guess," Nancy shrugged, unsure of what to say. Sighing inwardly, Nancy couldn't suppress the deep sadness and loss that swelled inside her when she thought of the situation they somehow found themselves in. Once best friends and lovers, Nancy and Ned were now little more than strangers and it was utterly depressing to discover how far apart they had grown in the previous year. Desperate to mask the awkward silence that ensued, Nancy quickly glanced around the bar, smiling self consciously when she noticed the mostly casual attire of the smattering of other customers dotted around the bar.

"What are you smirking about, Drew?" Ned asked in obvious confusion, the first real hint of a smile touching his lips.

"God, could I have a chosen a more inappropriate outfit?" Nancy laughed, wrapping her arms self-consciously around her bare shoulders. "Most people here are dressed in sweaters and jeans and here I am, wearing possibly the shortest dress in my entire wardrobe. I feel like a hooker."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you look gorgeous and not in anyway hooker-like," Ned smiled, his gaze locked on hers. "But here, take this, if you want," he offered in a gentlemanly fashion, pulling his dark-blue sweater over his head and offering it to Nancy.

"Thanks, that's really sweet of you," Nancy murmured as she accepted the sweater gratefully, a sudden pang of longing hitting her as she enclosed her self in the soft wool, breathing in his familiar scent.

The earlier tension dissipated, Ned and Nancy finally relaxed, sipping cool bottles of beer while they eagerly drank in all the minute details of each other's lives that they had missed over the previous months. It felt so good to be with him again, to talk to him again after all this time, and Nancy couldn't help but feel a delicious shiver run up her spine whenever their eyes met for a moment or their feet brushed together by accident under the table.

"I still can't believe you moved in with the girls," Ned chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "You guys must have a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it's great," Nancy admitted with a smile. "Bess is a howl. She has at least two guys on the line at any one time and George and me are kept thoroughly entertained by the whole thing."

"It's good to know that some things never change," Ned laughed before turning to Nancy, his face suddenly serious. "And you, Nan, any guys? I mean, what about that guy tonight?"

"Guys," Nancy echoed with a hollow laugh, knowing she at least owed Ned a straight answer for once. "There are no guys. Jack is just some guy Bess set me up with."

"That's good," Ned replied tenderly before suddenly remembering himself and turning away, his face flushed with embarrassment.

Though Ned had been quietly interested in the finer details of her love life, Nancy noticed he was less than forthcoming about his own. He had spoken little of the girl she knew to be Rachael; in fact, he had not mentioned her name, even once, all night.

Draining the last of his beer, Ned glanced reluctantly at his watch. "I hate to say this, but I need to get back to the guys. I have an important presentation at work tomorrow and I need to catch a few hours of sleep. Maybe we can do this again sometime," he finished hopefully, his voice trailing away.

Being with him, being close to him after so long, Nancy felt sick to her stomach at the thought of Ned leaving her again. "Don't go," Nancy said suddenly, grabbing a firm hold of his arm lest he disappear out of her life for the second time. "Please don't go. I've missed you for so long and now you're here and I'm afraid if you walk out that door, I'm never going to see you again."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Ned pulled free of Nancy's grasp. "I don't believe you," he muttered angrily. "You go off with some other guy and then just expect things to be all right, that they'd suddenly go back to normal, just like that."

"Ned, you're right, you're totally right," Nancy admitted, shamefaced, tears welling up in her blue eyes. "I know, I've been a bitch to you and I don't deserve you but I love you, and being here with you tonight has made me realize that even more."

Swallowing hard, Ned finally forced her gaze to hers and when Nancy saw the naked hurt in his troubled eyes, she felt almost sick with guilt, knowing it was her selfish actions that caused it.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Nancy whispered, laying her hand gently on his, gratified when he didn't pull it away. "I love you so much and I can't believe how stupid I was to ruin things between us. For that, I will never be able to forgive myself. But you hurt me too, you know," she added in a small voice, the first tears streaming down her face. "God, I couldn't even talk to you and when I heard you had a new girlfriend so soon after we had broken up, it felt like you were killing me, like you'd never even loved me."

"You know that's not true," Ned murmured in a gentler voice, tentatively wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I did love you. I loved you too much, if I'm being honest," he admitted softly, pulling her closer to him and making comforting noises as he gently ran his fingers over her skin. "You broke my heart when you went away with him and I just couldn't do it anymore. That's the truth," he shrugged, sheepishly.

"And her?" Nancy forced the words out, not bringing herself to mention her name. Though she dreaded what his answer might be, Nancy had to know. "Do you love her?"

"No," Ned answered with a smile. "Rachael's a lovely girl and all, but she's not you, Nan." Leaning in close to Nancy, Ned rested a hand gently on her cheek. "I've never stopped loving you," he admitted softly before gently taking her in his arms and kissing her passionately.

xxxxx

Later, in the calm quiet of her room, Nancy lay sprawled in Ned's arms, her fingers tangled in his hair as they kissed tenderly. "God, Nan, it feels so good to be with you," he murmured lovingly, trailing kisses up and down her neck as he pulled her closer. "I've missed you so much."

"I know," Nancy smiled, gasping suddenly as Ned's hand crept up under her skirt, delicately exploring the tender skin.

As their kisses deepened, Ned tugged impatiently at Nancy's dress, his fingers clumsily untying the thin straps. "You look so beautiful," he moaned, kissing the soft skin on her neck before hastily pulling off her dress and tossing it on the floor.

Ned's touch growing more insistent, her skin burning at his sheer closeness, Nancy pulled his face down to hers and kissed him gently. "I love you so much, Ned. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What do you think?" he smiled, pressing his lips to hers before laying her gently on the bed.

The crisp white sheet tangled around her, Nancy was roused to consciousness by the clatter of cups and plates over carefully hushed voices. The events of the previous night replaying slowly in her head, Nancy made a contented noise and rolled over, eager to be enclosed in the warmth of Ned's strong arms. Opening her eyes, Nancy was dismayed to find the spot previously occupied by Ned cold and empty, the only trace of him a folded sheet of paper with her name scrawled hastily across.

No, Ned wouldn't do this to me, she thought desperately, panic bubbling inside her as she grasped the note. Her eyes clouding with tears, Nancy felt suddenly sick as she read the opening words of the note.

Nancy,

I'm sorry for flaking out without even saying goodbye, but I think it's for the best. Last night was amazing but I should never have let it happen. It's my fault and I'm really sorry if I've hurt you, but believe me, it's better this way.

Ned

Shocked tears streaking down her face, Nancy collapsed onto the bed, the letter falling from her grasp and fluttering slowly onto the ground.

xxxxx

Sighing in defeat, Nancy placed the spoon beside the gooey remains of her chocolate cake before smiling apologetically at her aunt. "Thanks for the dinner, Aunt Eloise. It was absolutely gorgeous," Nancy assured her with a smile. "But if I eat another bite, I'm seriously going to explode."

"I know the feeling," her aunt laughed, spooning the last of the cake into her mouth before pushing the bowl away guiltily. "If I don't fit into my new black skirt tomorrow, I'll know what to blame," she added jokingly.

"I don't think you need to worry too much, Aunt Eloise," Nancy smiled affectionately as she regarded the older woman's slender figure. "You haven't put on a pound in your life," she finished, guiltily clamping a hand over her mouth to suppress a yawn. "Sorry, this case has me totally wiped," she apologized.

"You do look a little tired, Nan." her aunt commented with some concern. "Give your dad a call and then head off to bed. An early night would do you no harm at all."

In truth, Nancy was exhausted. The case which had brought Nancy unexpectedly to New York involved a missing child and was both distressing and time consuming, allowing little opportunity for rest. Trawling tirelessly through local schools and parks, Nancy was grateful for the distraction it offered from her troublesome thoughts of Ned, but then felt instantly guilty for mourning something as trivial as a lost love when Jessica's heartbroken family had lost their whole world. Though Ned had made several attempts to contact her, Nancy had pointedly ignored all his phone calls and text messages, outwardly feigning relief when they slowly petered off but inwardly feeling more than a little disappointed that Ned hadn't tried harder to win her back.

Gratefully accepting a cup of steaming tea from her aunt, Nancy quickly dialed her father's number, relieved when she heard his familiar comforting voice. Though she was enjoying her aunt's company, she missed her father, and the frantic hustle and bustle of the city made her long for the quiet peace of home.

"Hi, Dad," Nancy greeted her father cheerfully. "I'm just checking in before I head to bed."

"It's good to hear your voice, honey," Carson responded warmly. "How are things going with the case?"

"Not great," Nancy sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "She seems to have literally vanished into thin air. I've checked out all the schools and hospitals and so far, nothing. You know, I hate giving up but I feel like I really don't have a choice this time. Somebody really doesn't want this child to be found."

"It's not like you to get so down," her father observed worriedly. "Is there anything else the matter?"

"No, it's just been a really long day, I guess." Nancy reassured him, unwilling to involve her father in the latest drama with Ned.

"Well, don't let it get you down," Carson said encouragingly. "Get a good night's sleep and things will look better in the morning, they always do."

"I wish I had your optimism, Dad," Nancy replied doubtfully. "But I am tired, so I'll definitely take your advice. How are things at home?" she added, hastily changing the subject.

"Good, honey. Have I any hope of seeing my only daughter anytime in the next few weeks?" he joked, well accustomed to Nancy's hectic work schedules.

After swearing to her father that she would definitely spend a long weekend in River Heights as soon as the case was over, Nancy passed the phone to her aunt before wandering into the living room and sinking wearily into the plush leather sofa. Her attention vaguely focused on the mediocre crime drama showing on TV and the soft murmurings of her aunt's voice drifting gently into the room, Nancy gave a start when her phone buzzed unexpectedly..

"Bess, it's so great to hear from you," Nancy greeted her friend happily. "How are things with you and George?" she bubbled excitedly, eager to catch up on all the juicy gossip she'd missed during her time in New York.

"The same, you know," she replied in an offhand manner, her voice serious and devoid of its usual bubbliness.

"No, I don't know," Nancy replied, puzzled. Unnerved by the girl's uncharacteristic silence, Nancy pressed on, determined to get to the truth. "There's something wrong, isn't there? Come on, Bess, tell me."

Hearing the girl's weary sigh, Nancy's anxiety only increased. "It's Ned," Bess began haltingly, as though reluctant to inflict further pain on her friend. "I was at the club last night, and I saw him with that girl, Rachael. Now, I didn't see exactly what was going on but they were definitely together. I hate being the bearer of bad news, but you deserve to know.

"Should I not have told you?" Bess added after a pause, concerned when Nancy failed to respond. "I mean, I know you have a lot going on already, but I didn't want you to hear this from someone else."

"It's okay, Bess," Nancy answered in a resigned tone, her stomach plummeting in shock at the unpleasant development. "After what happened between us and all, I'm hardly surprised."

"Are you sure?" Bess probed, unconvinced.

"Yeah, I'm positive," Nancy lied, desperately holding the tears back to maintain some semblance of dignity. Devastated by the news, Nancy needed privacy to make sense of her jumbled emotions and she knew that if Bess suspected her friend was in any way upset, she would keep her on the phone all night.

"Bess, thanks for being such a good friend," Nancy said gratefully before bidding the girl a hurried farewell.

Alone with her thoughts, Nancy wept bitterly, her final hopes of a happy reunion, cruelly dashed. Drained by her tears, she could only stare into space as the harsh reality of the situation washed over her. "It's over," Nancy told herself sternly, swiping a hand across her damp cheeks. "It's over and I'm never going back. Ned and I are finished for good this time."


	3. Chapter 3

Numbly staring at the cheap, plastic stick, the black positive sign winking back tauntingly at her, Nancy felt physically sick. It had been a cruel shock to discover that the pregnancy tests bought simply to allay Nancy's growing fears, to reassure her for once and for all that she was most definitely not pregnant, had instead done the opposite and confirmed her worst nightmare.

At first, it had been relatively easy to explain away, to rationalize the early symptoms of pregnancy. She had been unusually tired in the previous weeks, constantly craving sleep and dragging herself from the bed in the morning when once she would have sprung out, eager to uncover some new clue or interview a promising suspect; but then, the case had been demanding, stakeouts often running into the early hours of the morning. The constant nausea, dizziness, and two missed periods had been harder to ignore, though, as now were the three pregnancy tests, screaming final, conclusive proof of her pregnancy.

Thinking about that night, Nancy felt conflicted. Although she couldn't bring herself to actually regret what had happened, what they had shared that night, Nancy felt utterly cheated when she considered the amount of times they had made love when they were still the perfect couple, happy and together, and she'd had the terrible misfortune of falling pregnant the one time they weren't.

Nancy didn't dislike babies; quite the opposite, she found most to be sweet, perfectly adorable creatures, but the thought of raising a child, possibly on her own, coupled with the sheer uncertainty of her future, absolutely terrified her. Nancy valued her independence and lived for her career. She loved what she did and enjoyed the sense of accomplishment and unpredictability that came with each and every case. The thought of working a desk job, counting down the hours and knowing exactly what monotonous tasks every day would bring, was more than a little depressing. It's not like I'll have a choice now, Nancy reflected miserably, gazing despondently at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. I can hardly drag a baby halfway across the country for a case. Those days are over now, and I'll just have to accept it.

xxxxx

Gathered in the untidy chaos of their living room, Nancy, Bess and George, too lazy to cook, nibbled contentedly on microwave popcorn, a box of sugary breakfast cereal, some salted crackers and other random cupboard staples, their attention half focused on the thriller that was showing on the television and Bess, who was now modeling a newly acquired purchase for the girls.

"I'm pregnant," Nancy informed her friends quietly, taking advantage of a much needed lull in the film. Swallowing a long gulp of her diet soda, Nancy braced herself nervously for the girls' reaction.

"You're what?" Bess and George's shocked voices echoed resoundingly around the room.

"I'm pregnant," Nancy repeated, a little unnecessarily, for she was quite certain by the horrified look on her friends' faces that they had heard her perfectly.

"Do you know what you're going to do, Nan?" George asked in concern, tucking her long legs under her as she regarded her friend worriedly.

"Not really," Nancy sighed. "I'm trying not to think about it, to be honest," she shrugged, her voice strangely calm, as though the reality of the situation hadn't sunk in yet.

"Nancy, I'm sorry. I just can't get my head around this," Bess spluttered disbelievingly, shaking her head. "I mean, I can't imagine you with a baby. No offense or anything," she amended hurriedly, catching the disapproving look that flashed across George's face.

"None taken," Nancy smiled wryly, cradling her face in her hands. "I'm having serious trouble with the idea myself, believe me. I mean, I don't even know any children and my sole experience with babies boils down to a few nights babysitting, where the baby was already asleep, so I don't think that even counts."

"It's Ned's baby, isn't it?" George cut in sympathetically.

"Yeah," Nancy sighed quietly, tears prickling her eyes at the cruel unfairness of it all. "We used protection and all so I still don't understand how it happened."

"And how did Ned take it?" Bess asked curiously, nibbling distractedly on the remains of the popcorn.

"He doesn't know, yet," Nancy admitted sheepishly, fidgeting nervously with her hair.

"Nancy, you need to tell him now, as in today, now," Bess informed her friend sternly, pushing the phone across the table. "It's not fair to keep him in the dark like this. You are going to tell him, aren't you?" she pressed Nancy incredulously, her eyes narrowing suspiciously at the following silence.

"I don't know," Nancy swallowed hard to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "He's with her now, why would he even care anymore?"

"Nancy, quit being so childish," Bess admonished her friend harshly, in a most un-Bess like tone. "You really hurt Ned last year and you need to face up to that fact. I know Ned loves you and you need to put a little faith in him. He deserves it."

"She's right, you know, Nan," George piped up in a kinder voice. "Ned loves you and you have to tell him about the pregnancy. Sure, he'll be shocked at first, but I bet when he gets a chance to think it over, he'll be thrilled to bits. I mean it," she added with a smile. "This baby might just be the thing to get you two back on track."

xxxxx

Seated in the quietly bustling restaurant, Nancy felt sick, imagining Ned's reaction to her news. Before, when Nancy had been more naive and she and Ned had still been together, Nancy imagined announcing her first pregnancy to him as a happy, teary-eyed scene, not this awful, awkward confession that was about to play out. Although Nancy knew Ned was a good person, and she loved him to death, the last thing she wanted was for him to feel pressured to stay with her for the sake of their unborn child. Nervously crossing and uncrossing her legs, Nancy noted with some satisfaction that at least she knew she looked good. Bess had generously given hours of her time the previous night, advising Nancy on a suitably gorgeous choice of outfit and experimenting with different hairstyles and eyeshadows until Nancy begged her to stop.

Spotting Ned crossing the crowded room, Nancy could almost sense his nervousness. He looked so self-conscious and uncomfortable that it made her feel terribly sad. When had things gone so disastrously wrong in their relationship, that they could hardly bear to be in the same room together, much less enjoy a civilized conversation?

Pulling out his chair with a noisy scrape, Ned gave Nancy an apologetic smile before sitting down uncertainly, unsure if his presence at the table was at all welcome.

"Hi, Nan, I was so glad when you finally called," Ned began hesitantly, his tone sincere and heartfelt. "I've been trying to call you for weeks, and was starting to wonder if you were avoiding me when I didn't hear anything back. Glad to see I was wrong," he finished with a wink, flashing her an easy smile.

"I've been busy," Nancy answered shortly, her gaze intently scanning the grease-stained menu. It was a pointless act; Nancy was sure that under present circumstances, she'd be unable to eat a single bite.

"Nancy, about that night," Ned broke in, desperate to clear the air.

"Look, just don't, okay?" Nancy snapped irritably. "You've already made your feelings perfectly clear on the matter. It's okay, I understand," she shrugged, though from the sharpness of her tone, it was obvious she didn't.

"Nancy," Ned sighed, about to say something before thinking better of it, his words trailing away as he sensed her rather obvious hostility.

Smiling at the kindly waitress, who cheerfully plonked two steaming bowls of soup in front of them, Nancy took a deep breath and forced herself to stop bitching and sniping at Ned and level with him for once and for all.

"I asked you to meet me here today because I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay," Ned shrugged, confusion growing on his face as he waited expectantly for Nancy to continue.

"Ned, you know, that night..." Nancy began hesitantly, stumbling awkwardly over the words as though to delay the inevitable. "Well, as it turns out, I'm actually pregnant."

"You're pregnant?" Ned echoed in shock, his face paling considerably as the heavy implication of the news sank in. "What the hell?" he mumbled, looking as though he was going to be sick. "We were careful. Are you definitely sure?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"Well, three pregnancy tests and a doctor's visit have all come back as positive, so yeah," Nancy replied, her voice deceptively calm, though inwardly she was panicking at the horror so evident on his face. "Say something, please," Nancy begged, her eyes pleading with him to give her some reassurance that everything would be okay.

"I'm sorry, Nancy," Ned managed after an awkward pause. "I'm just shocked, that's all. When you asked me to meet you, this is not at all what I was expecting."

"And just exactly what were you expecting?" Nancy demanded angrily. "That we'd kiss and make up and end up in bed together? We did that before and look where it got us," she reminded him with a sarcastic smile. "Look, forget about it, okay?" she sighed wearily, grabbing her bag and pushing out her chair. "It's not your problem anymore."

"Come on, please don't do this," Ned pleaded with her urgently, completely oblivious to the curious stares of the other diners. "Stay, we need to talk, you can't just run away from this."

"I'm not sure I really want to listen to anything you have to say, Ned Nickerson," Nancy retorted angrily, tears welling up in her eyes. "Just stay the hell away from me, okay?"

xxxxx

Her cell phone clutched tightly in her hand, Nancy sighed resignedly. Ned had been annoyingly persistent in his efforts to talk to her, and after the tenth missed call, Nancy hastily switched it off and buried it in her bag, unable to deal with him in her present condition. Though the busy Chicago streets were crowded with shoppers and enthusiastic day-trippers and the lunchtime traffic was in its usual gridlocked state, spawning a litany of irate horn-honking as people showed their distaste for the delay, Nancy had never felt so utterly alone. Suddenly homesick, Nancy longed to spend a few days at home in River Heights with her father, lounging around in her pajamas, watching crappy daytime television and bingeing on Hannah's infamous chocolate-chip cookies and homemade ice cream; but considering Carson had no idea of the predicament his daughter had found herself in, that was completely out of the question. Telling her father she was pregnant was a complication she certainly could do without at the moment.

Spotting the elegant wrought-iron gates that allowed access to a local park, Nancy allowed herself a small smile, remembering the many happy hours she herself had spent as a child clambering up monkey bars and slides and playing long, drawn out games of hide and go seek. Wandering into the vast open space, Nancy felt instantly calmer. It was such a beautiful day, it was hard to feel too dispirited for long. The sun shone brightly from a mostly cloudless sky and the trees were resplendent in their blaze of autumnal glory. Leaves fluttered aimlessly from the trees, coloring the land below a rich palate of purples, golds and reds, and made a satisfyingly crunching sound as Nancy walked along. The park was alive with activity; mostly people out walking, taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather, but also teenagers rollerblading and skating, enjoying the opportunity to show off some recently acquired skills to friends and younger children, running excitedly after squirrels and ducks, bundled into too-warm coats by their overcautious mothers.

Remembering the way Ned had pleaded and begged with her to stay and talk, Nancy realized that her behavior at the restaurant had been completely unreasonable. Of course Ned had been shocked by the news; he had every right to be. Hadn't it taken Nancy herself weeks to come to terms with the pregnancy? But the utterly irrational, hormonal person she'd suddenly morphed into had expected Ned to accept it instantaneously. It was time to put things right. Rummaging in her bag, Nancy swiftly withdrew her phone and switched it on, hastily dialing Ned's number.

"Ned, it's me," she said after a pause, her heart clenching as he kindly made concerned inquiries about her. "I'm sorry about earlier. You're right, we need to talk. Where do you want to meet?"


	4. Chapter 4

Snapping her cell phone shut, Nancy's hand shook slightly, raw nervous energy bubbling up inside her at the thought of seeing Ned again so soon. On one hand, she was almost relieved; since the moment she'd discovered she was pregnant, she had dreaded telling Ned about the baby, the thought occupying her every waking moment, but now he knew and Nancy would finally have some closure, would know how he really felt about her, and that at least was comforting. But another part of Nancy was terribly wary, nervous of the conversation that would ensue, distrustful of Ned but mostly distrustful of herself. As it was, she had absolutely no control of her emotions, was susceptible to breaking down in floods of tears at a moment's notice, and Nancy didn't relish the prospect of having another emotional outburst in public. To add to her woes, Nancy was positive she looked absolutely terrible and she dreaded to think of the puffy, red-eyed mess her face had disintegrated into. Spotting a towering department store, enthused shoppers spilling out of the revolving doors, Nancy sighed, glancing at her watch. She had a mere ten minutes to spare before she had to meet Ned in a neighboring coffee shop but she was damned if she was to see her former lover in her current disheveled state. Wandering through the sweetly perfumed makeup counters, Nancy smiled politely at the beautifully coiffed sales assistants slicking jewel colored lipsticks and shadows onto impressionable young girls, her efforts rewarded when she spotted the ladies restroom.

The bathroom was mercifully quiet, the only occupants a smartly dressed blonde woman accompanied by her equally fair haired daughter, the little girl's hand firmly in that of her mother, her free hand clutching a pink-clad Barbie doll.

"There's more chocolate on your face than in your belly," the young mother chastised her small daughter, tousling her soft curls. "What will Daddy say when he sees you?"

Moistening a tissue, she rubbed furiously at the little girl's chocolate smeared face, the child hilariously uncooperative, ignoring her mother and holding a full blown conversation with the doll.

"She's cute," Nancy smiled, catching the woman's eye as the child chattered on, completely oblivious to her audience.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw her this morning throwing a tantrum because I wouldn't let her wear her Snow White costume to town."

Chuckling at the image of the tot, Nancy stared into the mirror, gratified to find her face not as puffy and red as she had imagined it to be. Smoothing some concealer under her eyes and reapplying a fresh coat of mascara, Nancy looked as though the emotional turmoil of the previous hours had never even happened.

"Ah, she's a great child really," the woman sighed, gazing adoringly at the toddler as she pulled her into her arms. "A bit of a handful at times, but me and her dad wouldn't change her for the world, would we Jess?"

Staring at the blonde girl, Nancy couldn't help imagining her own child, his or her first words, first steps, school plays, birthdays, all the wonderful milestones that a parent experiences, and for the first time in her pregnancy, Nancy didn't feel panicked, anxious or worried, just really happy and calm.

She couldn't put this off anymore. It was time to talk to Ned.

xxxxx

Arriving at the coffee shop, Nancy paused at the open door, smiling when she saw Ned. He was seated at a secluded corner table, set purposefully apart from a boisterous group of giggling teenagers, school bags scattered all over the floor as they sipped their skinny lattes, gossiping about some poor, unfortunate classmates. Noticing his rigid posture , Nancy could sense Ned's nervousness, so she swiftly entered the richly scented cafe, eager to put him out of his misery.

"Nancy, I'm so glad you came," Ned smiled in obvious relief, pulling out a chair for her in a most gentlemanly fashion.

"You didn't think I would?" she asked wryly, collapsing on the chair gratefully, her feet aching from her too-high stiletto heels.

"Well, after what happened at lunch, I was sure you were really pissed at me," Ned shrugged, his demeanor cagey and slightly awkward, suddenly uncertain of how to act around the girl he'd loved for years for fear of hurting her or causing further upset. "Here, I got you some hot chocolate," Ned smiled, knowing Nancy's weakness for the sweet drink.

"Thanks, and you ordered extra marshmallows." Nancy noted gratefully, taking a cautious sip from the steaming mug.

"Well, I thought you could do with the extra sugar," he added with a concerned smile. "I really am sorry about earlier, you know. I was a little shocked, that's all," he explained, tentatively reaching across the table and touching her hand. "And I don't want you to think I'm not happy about the baby, I am, but it's just going to take a little while to get used to the idea."

"God, stop apologizing, please," Nancy said insistently, guilt-stricken at the look of desperation on his face. "It was totally my fault. I should have been more understanding and I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Ned smiled, reaching out and tentatively taking her hand. "I guess I'll have to get used to this now, right?"

"What do you mean?" Nancy asked hesitantly, hardly daring to believe there was a chance of reconciliation.

"Well, I suppose, what I mean is, do you think there's any chance of us getting back together? And this is not just because of the baby," Ned assured her seeing the sudden flash of uncertainty on her face. "I love you, Nancy, I never stopped really, even when we broke up, even when I got with Rachael, you were still all I wanted. What do you think?"

At the heartbreakingly sincere look on his face, it took all her self control not to run into his arms and pledge her undying love for him, but there were a few matters Nancy needed cleared up before she fell back into their oft tempestuous relationship.

"Ned, I want to believe you, I really do, but if you love me as much as you say you do, then why did you leave the next morning? Do you know how hurt and used I felt, when I woke up to find you gone and all you'd left me was a note?" Nancy shrugged dejectedly, feeling slightly pathetic for the whiny tone her voice took on.

"I know, I should have stayed," Ned allowed, an apologetic expression on his face. "But I panicked, I was terrified you were going to hurt me again, so I left. Can you understand that?

"I suppose," Nancy replied in a small voice. "And what about Rachael?" she asked, Bess's accusations burning in her ear. "Are you still with her?"

"No. I broke it off with her the next day," Ned reassured her with a smile. "I couldn't stay in a relationship with Rachael, when I knew I was in love with you."

"How did she take it?" Nancy asked curiously, spooning melted marshmallows into her mouth.

"Okay, actually," Ned replied with a small shrug. "I think she knew for a long time that I wasn't as invested in the relationship as she was and I'd say she was almost relieved that it was finally over. Look, forget about Rachael and everybody else, all that matters is us," Ned assured her, taking her hand gently in his. "I mean, I know it's not going to be easy but I love you and want to be with you and our baby. What do you think about giving us another chance?"

Overcome with emotion, Nancy could only nod her agreement, happy tears filling her eyes as Ned came over and pulled her into his arms.

xxxxx

"That's it, Nancy, you're doing really well," the midwife smiled encouragingly, Nancy's whiteknuckled hold on Ned's hand tightening as she was gripped in the throes of yet another torturous contraction. The process which had started out as merely uncomfortable, the pain slight but perfectly tolerable, had now reached epic proportions of torment Nancy had not previously thought possible. In the course of her work Nancy had acquired a vast collection of dislocations, broken bones, and scars, and one gash so severe, the blood loss so furious, Nancy had felt sure she was going to bleed to death; but even that was nothing compared to this hell. Each contraction left her breathless with pain, wondering why the hell she hadn't insisted on an epidural.

"You're almost there, Nancy, honestly," Ned smiled weakly, pressing a cool, wet washcloth to her burning face as Nancy squeezed his free hand so tightly, it was a wonder it wasn't going to fall off.

"You said that ages ago," Nancy sighed, exhausted and weary by her efforts and beginning to doubt she'd ever meet this elusive daughter of theirs.

"I know," he reassured her tenderly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "But just think that in another few minutes, we could be holding our daughter in our arms."

Although Ned had been eager to keep the gender of the baby a surprise, Nancy, being her usual overcurious self, couldn't bear to wait the requisite nine months to find out. Also, she had rationalized, it would make decorating the nursery a hundred times easier, so the decision was made and a few days later, Nancy and Ned discovered they were expecting a baby girl. Armed with that knowledge, they had spent hours pouring over baby books, thinking of a suitable name for their baby, considering some possibilities and vetoing others as too complicated or common. In the end, they settled for Sarah, meaning princess, which had been Nancy's own mother's name, and seemed fitting for the much anticipated arrival.

"Come on, honey, one last push," the midwife urged encouragingly, as Nancy pushed determinedly, her screams suddenly punctuated by the sound of her baby crying.

The surrounding nurses' congratulatory well wishes and Ned's excited cries barely registered as, wrapped in a pink blanket, bloodied and damp, the baby was pushed into her arms.

Staring at the screaming bundle, Nancy was rendered speechless by the perfection of this tiny person in front of her. Sarah's skin was an angry raw red, a fuzz of soft dark hair covering her head and her hands balled up into tiny fists, flailing angrily in the air, her cries slowly subsiding as she focused on the hushed words of comfort her mother whispered to her.

"Nan, she's so small," Ned chuckled, disbelieving, his tone awed as he reached out to touch her tiny hand. "I can't believe she's ours."

"I know," Nancy sighed happily, her exhaustion and agony temporarily forgotten as she held the baby close, relishing in the comforting warmth pressed against her skin.

"Can I hold her now?" Ned asked, chuckling in amusement at her protective hold of their baby.

"Of course you can, " she smiled, though she passed him the tiny bundle with some reluctance.

"Hello, Sarah," Ned cooed gently, trying out the unfamiliar name. "I think it fits," he smiled, tears prickling Nancy's eyes as she saw their new born daughter snuggling peacefully into her father's arms, her dark blue eyes slowly drooping as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
